What you were, what you do, how you feel, in a wetsuit.
Song: Swim by Her Zefire
In an effort to make sure I didn't chicken out on surfing, I bought a wetsuit. In Berlin. In February 2017. To be honest, I thought about it when I was home in Cali and there was a sale. But when you're ready, you're ready. So I rocked up to Blue Tomato near Zoo (pronounced zoh- German stereotypical sounds) and tried on 5 or 6 winter suits and lost about 5 lbs doing it. Then it found me, or the store manager found the right one for me.
There I was, shelling out mucho mullah for a suit I wasn't sure I would wear very well. The thought process was strategic. If I bought the suit I would have to finally face my fears and surf. Plus I have the irrational fear of wearing a suit someone peed in just before. I'm going to be frank, I have never peed in the ocean or swimming pool. But I have never stayed longer than 2 hours in water before, so I'm not judging.
“I kept to my word and learned to surf almost every month this year.”
I have worn that suit to all my surf trips this year except to Barbados. Honestly, someone should have told me that those girls who look cute on a surf board in only their bikinis or guys with their tops off are liars! The board bruises your chest skin after a while. I am done being cute, I like my suits.
Anyway back to the wetsuits, I love them. I have been on a total of eight surf trips this year. I am completely broke, I did say I was a post doctoral researcher at a university, right? We make minimum wage look like golden prospects. It's the price you pay for being curious and wanting to be paid for that curiosity. Rambling....
I am so glad I went into that shop in Berlin last February. I am so glad the manager had me try on every single female suit. I am unconditionally happy that I have been able to keep to my word and learn to surf almost every month this year.
I am not going to lie, I wish to my stars that I could live somewhere near the sea that has amazing breaks for beginners, I don't mind living in the white water for a bit. But something happened this past December. It was the moment that I was truly grateful for my conviction the winter before. I WENT OUT WITH THE INTERMEDIATES AND SURFED GREEN WAVES. Firstly, let it be noted my office chair hips still means I am incredibly immobile and can't pop up on more than 1% of the waves. However, my reading of the elements has improved immeasurably from deer in headlights in thigh high white water. I paddled out with my instructor, who was the first person to teach me back in April. Zé from Laneez surf school. Right, so we go out and then one thing after the next happened. I was scared as F(rance). Then this guy dropped in on me and his fin and board just fell on my wrists. Boom. I fall over and then I look at him and there are no words, just holy! I survived my first collision. He apologises and I'm like "yeeeaaaaaaaah thanks." My wrists are still black and blue (side note, I did not know my dark skin could get black and blue. Thank you surfing??) Then Zé realised that I kept stalling, and he asked me why. The amount of water that I felt behind me was discerning. I have never felt that much force, and what is with that drop. LOL Stop it! I told you I was a beginner.
Then as he tells me that in these waves you can get held under for a few seconds and rolled around, guess what happened? The very next wave, my wipeout was so epic that the locals came looking for me on the ocean floor. Again all I could do is look at them and smile.
I remember the first time I got to the Laneez surf house back in April. There was a spot just underneath the house that this really cool guy was surfing. I thought it was super beautiful but there were rocks and the waves could be messy and crazy and I was like, nope. But this time, 7 surf trips later, I went out there. I popped up only once. But I paddled out like I wasn't about to pee in my wetsuit everytime the choppy waves came from my left and right. Not to mention everytime I saw a rock.
I did not pee in my suit, thank-you-very-much.
But the best part of that trip was that my instructor said he couldn't believe I was the same person from April, that I have improved and now it's not if I will surf, it is which height waves I will surf. I live*! I cried a bit but not real tears, it was the salt water and nose juice from surfing in Portugal in December.
I have found meaning in my life again, as I mentioned a new obsessive love. One that now my father is very happy with (lol). He bought me this Yulex bad boy for the next trip. I am so happy that I got that suit on a cold day in February in Berlin. I am now on my second suit, this time with gloves and a hood.
Whatever 2018 brings, I am well suited.
*My cousin says this all the time, it's so perfect.
First written January 3rd, 2018